To All the New Mums Feeling Anxiety...
Anyone who has felt parental anxiety surrounding the birth of her new baby might wonder if these emotions could cause baby anxiety, too. That was Trina’s big concern as a new mum.
With her ruby lips and lush, black hair, Tatiana was an exquisite baby. But Tatiana’s delicate form was balanced by a strong temperament. She inherited a passionate personality from her parents, which thrilled Trina and her husband, Mirko. But as the weeks went by, they wilted as Tatiana’s feistiness turned into shrieks.
Trina called her healthcare provider after one particularly bad afternoon. She confided, ‘I’m a very sensitive and intuitive person. Is it possible that Tatiana is, too? I know she’s only four weeks old, but could she be picking up on all the stress that I am feeling?’
Trina said that after the baby’s birth she had terrible pain from her C-section and just days later her apartment flooded, destroying most of the family’s possessions.
‘The nest we created for our baby collapsed like a house of cards, and we had to move to our friends living room. When Tatiana developed colic at three weeks, I thought her screams might be from all the parental anxiety she felt from me.’
Can baby anxiety be caused by parents?
The birth of a healthy infant is a brilliant experience, but it is a rare mum or dad who does not have episodes of parental anxiety and self-doubt. Persistent fussing can cast a shadow over your confidence and make you wonder if your fear or frustration is causing at least some of the crying. But babies are simply babies! It may feel like your feelings are written on your forehead in lipstick (Sad! Mad! Nervous!), but your baby is just too immature to read your complex emotions.
While your baby will not sense your anxiety, your crying baby does, of course, depend on you. If you are having challenges calming your baby, there are a few things to consider. But do not blame yourself, just admit that you need help and be sure to get it!):
- New mum anxiety can reduce breastmilk supply or block letdown. A hungry baby will cry if he is not getting enough milk.
- Keep in mind that sometimes the 5 S’s need to be done with ‘vigor’ (swaddle, shush, and swing the baby as emphatically as needed to calm the screaming). This is why dads are so great at soothing babies.
- Nervous parents impatiently jump from one calming tactic to another, never doing any of them enough to calm the crying. Taking a baby education class will improve your skills and confidence.
Note: Your newborn’s hand trembling, chin quivering, and startling at loud noises are not signs of baby anxiety. These are caused by your baby’s immature nervous system and disappear within a few months.
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Parents need and deserve help! SNOO Smart Sleeper is like another member of the family (or a virtual night nurse) to lend a hand. SNOO helps to calm most babies with womb-like sound and motion. Learn more.
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