How to Help Your Toddler Express Their Feelings
Did you know that emotions make us healthy? In fact, the way in which you react to your childās expression of emotion will contribute greatly to his healthāand happinessāfor the rest of his life.
Bottled-up feelings can lead to a profound sense of loneliness ('No one understands'/'No one cares') or even bursts of hysteria (think drama queen or someone needing anger-management classes). Kids whose words of fear and frustration are repeatedly silenced may grow up emotionally disconnected (like the guy who snarls 'I am NOT angry!', totally unaware that the veins are popping out of his forehead).
On the other hand, when we 'have a good cry' we feel and think better. Venting anger with a good scream or punching a pillow can lower our blood pressure and help us recover, forgive, and move on. Laughter and tears have even been shown to strengthen the immune system and help heal illness.
Children whose feelings are lovingly acknowledged during the toddler years grow up emotionally intact. They know how to ask their friends for help and how to support others in need. They seek out healthy relationships, avoiding bullies and choosing confidantes and life partners who are thoughtful and kind.
How to Help Your Toddler Express FeelingsĀ
Young toddlers (12ā24 months)
Model for your child how to ventĀ their feelings. For example, whenĀ they are mad stomp your feet, clap your hands, and shake your head vigorously, and teachĀ them to say 'No!' ('Evelyn says, "No, no, no! Mine, mine! Stop now!"')Ā
Older toddlers (2ā4 years old )
When things are calm, have your toddler practice different faces: 'Show me your happy faceā¦your sad faceā¦your mad face.' Point out pictures in books and say 'Look at that sad baby. How do you look when you are sad?' Cut out magazine pictures of people showing emotions and put them on cardboard cards or in a little 'feelings book.' Demonstrate your facial expressions soĀ they can see what you mean: 'When I get mad my eyes get small and my mouth gets tight like this [make face].'
Teach your child the words to use whenĀ they are upset. Use pictures in the 'feelings book' as a starting point. Ask, 'How does that boy feel? Why is that girl sad?' Enrich your childās vocabulary by using different words. For example, for 'mad' you might also use: angry, furious, miffed, boiling, red-hot, etc.
Amazingly, the more you practice these simple steps, the sooner your child will start to gain control ofĀ their emotional outbursts.
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